I Am A Maktam.

Assalamualaikum.

Hi again. Hee. I did the interview with SPA last month. InshaAllah, they promised us that we going to work at least on September. Well. I think I am not ready to work yet. Like I said before, I am enjoying being a daughter and a jobless girl and not to forget a maktam.

I have three nieces and two nephews. But since Alya and Aimi are the older two out of five, I found they are starting to think and to copycat. So, when ever they are around, everyone was very cautious with their behaviour and words. I never thought that being an example to kids is much harder than having a smaller kids. Seriuos tak tipu.

Since now is a school holiday, Aimi, Alya and their cousin are staying with their Maktok. One of the funny things is that, they start to main cinta-cinta with the boys (especially Alya and the cousin) from the nearby village. And I as a maktam become the one who get angry at them, asking them to come home and jerit at the boys. Serious. For my entire life, I never thought that I will become that makcik yang jerit-jerit. And now, here I am. Hahahaha.

Then, when in house, I did a brainwashed (adviced and the reasons why not to do it now). Oh common, Alya is 9 years old and the cousin is 13 years old. There is a lot more to come. *Tapi dalam hati, sempat juga cakap, dulu masa besar-besar depa, takpernah pon buat camtu*. Well. That the new phase of life for them, a process to become the teenager, and not to forget a new phase for me too, a makcik-makcik yang garang !

Oklah. That all for now. Welcoming and enjoying this new phase of life for them and for me. Eventhough, I never thought I am going to go through it before. I can't wait what next. Bring it on. Hahahaha. Loving you guys to every bits of my blood and bones.


Goodbye.












p/s= What I learned from this entire experience, it's not that I am trying to cut out this new phase, but it's our job as older people to guide them through this. So that, we can let them go one day, believing they going to sail on their own, on the right path because we did everything possible to guide them through it before. I hope it's help eventhough it's not much.

p/s= Dear my nieces and nephews, you are my babies and forever be my babies.

We Can't Get Away.

Assalamualaikum.

 It's been a while. Actually, I was having a thought to leave this blog away because I have nothing to say for quite a long time. Before, I promised myself that I will only write when it's come from heart. But I guess everyone did that.

Well, I had finished my study in Jakarta about 3 months ago. Still at home, being a daughter and a jobless girl and loving every bits of it. Maybe I can be a housewife one day. But I dont think so. Heee..

I have a story to be told. Yesterday was just another day, atleast that what I thought it's going to be. But Allah's plan was much greater. Yesterday wasn't just another day, it was the day when we were told that our beloved maksu and my cousin died because of an accident.

I was sleeping when we got the news. There was a silent moment for everyone. You know maksu was just not a victim in this accident. Maksu was a mother of six, her youngest son was 5 years old. Not knowing anything about death, thinking that his mother and his brother were just gone for today and will be back for tomorrow. Even I, have the same thought yesterday and now. They were sleeping on their mother's bed, missing their mother last night and I was speechless. He told us 'Tahun ni xbeli lagi cake birthday untuk ibu'.

A mother is like a backbone of the family. When the backbone snap, the whole will be paralysis. Maksu was everything to her family. Not just a teacher and a mother, but also a planner, an accountant, a supporter and everything. She was my bestfriend.

When I was in my clinical years, I used to surrounded by death, but sometimes we got immune to it. After a while, I used to say, this is another death, I know they were a dear family member but it's just don't cut through the heart. But this time, it's did. It's cut through the heart and it's bleed.

Dear maksu and Akmal, I love you. InshaAllah, Teha akan menyusul nanti.











P/s= Perkara yang paling dekat dengan kita adalah mati. Perkara yang paling berat adalah amanah. That are what we have been dealing with every day. Sometimes, we thought that we can get away, but of course we can't. I am not going to say goodbye but I am saying, see you guys again maksu and akmal. See you again.

Maybe I Grow Up.

Assalamualaikum.

I used to spent my year writing in this blog. But this few years, I write less. It was not because I get busier (I did) but maybe I am actually a lazybum. Or maybe I grow up, which mean I spent my life in real rather that in blog. Hehehehe.

This year I spent my days observing, nurturing my patience, my courage, my skill, my knowledge and I found that I am so lacked in everything. They said we were too young to know all that, but I said I am too eager to learn to know.

Now, I am close to the end of my clinical year, inshaAllah, Neurology Department. I found that human brain and how they connected like a circuit is interesting. Stroke, brain injury, meningitis, autoimmune disease and so many more, they are things to learn. So many, so complex and so so so hard. But it was okay. Because it always gonna be okay.

Heee. Goodbye for now.









P/S= I can't wait to give more to this world in my way, in my career, and in my life. InshaAllah.

Catching Up 2014..

Assalamualaikum..

It's 2014 !! It's a new year *for my blog*.. hohohoho.. The time between this post and the last post, a lot of things happen. That lots of thing, most of them changed my life. Now, I am on my 6th rotation, Obsterics and Gynecology in Jakarta, Indonesia. For this rotation, I am back to the first hospital when I first started my coass, RSUD Koja. Life is so unique. The story written, I am back in Koja, my first teacher.. Hee..

Oh yes. I am doing good, alive, fatty and shining bright with a lot of kerenah manusia * I don't find a good word for it, pardon my bad english*

And we moved to another house, much smaller than before, but much hommy . Heee. We love our new home. My sister further her study in UK, and my mother is very worried that she won't get married. Since that, she been pushing marriage over to me. My childhood cousin and my 11 years bestfriend got married this year, but since I am coass-ing, I could not go. I got a nephew last year, so don't called my family, family perempuan lagi. We got testerone in the house ok. Hmmm.. What else ?

Now that, I came to this stage of life, I realize how much study in overseas require you to sacrifice  a lot of things, like the time with your family, bestfriends, in fact you know what, my niece and nephew don't even know me *crying*. This was what I lost, since I m studying away from our country. The price that I need to pay. Huuu.

But that not mean all bad, what  I earned from this, how much family meant to me, how much Malaysia is a place I want to live and for your information distance never separate us, it's us who make it distance*there are whatapp, line, kakaotalk and BBM now, so, santai aja*.

Ok. I think that all for my rumbling today. I'll make my pot pet pot pet next time. Heee..




p/s= They said that a doctor is cursed to read books her/his whole life, you know what I felt when I heard that, "Alhamdulillah, I love books, I love knowledge, and I love this carreer". Sofar, I found that this is the right path I had chose. No matter what happen, I wont stop. Pray for me that this feeling last forever. Heee..

A Goodbye Again.

Assalamualaikum..

I said my goodbye to Purwakarta. Thanks for the priceless lesson and mind changing of 10 weeks. I am so going to miss Purwakarta, our doctor and the nurses there. It was so sad. But life must move on.

Since, I've been in my clinical year, I realized that how a life could be very fragile. Before, I am always thought that a baby going to have a long journey ahead. They going to grow up and have a future ahead. But now, when I see a baby I pray they could have future. We don't know what come next but the things that I know, death is always awaiting for us. Sometimes it was so near that when somebody died you cannot feel it but you know that Asra'il is near you, just not your time yet. And I am so scared that everything I did, not going to save me hereafter.

Next, I am going to Jogjakarta, Opthamology rotation. Hohoho. They said Jogja is so going to be not so busy. So, I am going to travel in Jogja. I've a month there, so I am gonna used it wisely. Ehem ehem..

Us.. Koas Anak, Rumah Sakit Efarina Etaham, Purwakarta. 23 June-31 August 2013. Our doctor, Dr Adjie. Heee.

P/s= I am so gonna miss Purwakarta. T_T