Climbing Another One Step in the Ladder of Life.

Assalamualaikum,

Hi ! I am again. Hee. I was just thinking, no matter how great we are or we were, at the end of the day we going to leave everything behind just like the famous Wong Fei Hong, Bruce Lee and many more. They were the infamous martial art sifu but they just left their names and stories behind. Even our beloved messenger Muhammad SAW left us even when he was the most beloved human in the world. They were loved and adored by everyone but what happened when they were alone in their graves. Don't you curios ? I am.

I always wondering and questioning about everything in my life. Everything in this world raised my curiosity. Sometimes, I would look for the answers but most of the time I just would let it slide. Maybe because I was so lazy or maybe because I will scared by the answer itself.

I told before in my other social media that when others get lots of wedding invitations, I got lots of funerals to attend. What gave me a pang of reality was that when we die, what we bring together just our white cotton cloth. We will be left alone in the dark, deep, underground grave. There are no families, no friends, no cars, no houses, no money, nothing. Nothing can accompany us. It's times for us to face our Lord. This is it. This is the day.

I know that day will come. Just like I know I will graduate from meds school one day. At that times when I hold the scroll from our dean and when I took a quick glance toward the crowd, the most unforgettable feeling that I had, I felt that "This is it. This is the end of my life as a student". Every hardships that I had, every memory from those years came in flash. I knew, I was taking the next step in my life.

And I know, one day, I will be in the grave alone in darkness and I going to say it again "This is it. This is the end of my journey as a human". And truthfully I say, I am scared because I never know will I pass or fail that day. And I know, if I fail, I am going to suffer miserably. Don't you scared ? I am.

Ok. Bye !

P/S= I am going to work next month. Hee. Another step in my life. Can't wait to be a doctor but so scared if I cannot carry the responsibility. They say it's hard to be a HO, I am not scared of the hardship but I am scared if I am thinking that, the hardship is so tough that I want to give up. I just don't want to give up yet or anytime in my life. Huu. Pray for me please. Please please please pray that Allah will give strength for my hardships in my upcoming life. Hee. Thank you for the prayer.

My Full of Emotion Post. Sorry.

Assalamualaikum.

If Malaysia listened to me for 10 minutes, I would say, let's put our hands together and hold it tight please. It is never about me or you, Malaysia is always about us.

Thousands years ago, for human survival, humans started to live together. Yes, our anchestors were used to be individualistic but at the end, they knew that they need to be together to survive, they started to form community. From that, there were us. From togetherness. I know,  I am so lacking in evolution theory (sorry Miss Alicia) and I am sorry if I say wrong. But what I am trying to say, we need each other.

Since I was small, I always dreamed that I would have lots of friends. I means multiracial. I would love to be friends with the chinese or indians but I never had a chance. Even so, I always realize that no matter who we are, no matter what races or religions, we are human first. We deserve to live in peace.

Just remember this, despite our differences, skin colours, races, religions, languages, political believes and many more, we always have one thing in common, that we are living under one roof - Malaysia- and of course we are all human.

Please please please let's try to see goodness in people, let's try to say good things and the most important things let's try to embrace our differences so that we can live in peace.

Malaysia, we can do this. I don't think, but I know we can.

P/s= I just have that random thought suddenly after I read so many hate comments on fb. Do we raised to hate ? To say bad things on others weakness ? To force others to agree with our disagreement ?  I just don't know anymore. *sad face*

P/s/s= I can get mad sometimes too right ? Huuuu. Thanks blog for listening to me. I told you before, you are my little diary. Bye !

Spread Love

Assalamualaikum..

Hi ! Heee.

There was one day when I talked to my niece Alya, she suddenly said that, she did not like chinese in Malaysia, because their house were bigger compared to other races. I was so surprised and shocked on how at the young age, she ended with the feeling of hatred. Then, I started to correct it. I did that unconciously. I said that it was not their fault. The fault was on ours. We the one, Malay, that do not have any motivation to succeed. Most of us do not even have an ambition. So, don't blame others. Blamed ourselves.

I am so glad that I could corrected it. Sometimes, because we were so comfort with our lives we tend to find the others flaw. Do you understand what I trying to say ? If not, don't ask please. Just take it as another rumblings of mine. Aigoo.

Please. Just please let's spread love.

"Kulit putih ke, kulit kuning ke, kulit hitam ke, kulit merah ke, kulit biru ke, kita tetap orang Malaysia kan"- Quote.

There are Malay, Chinese, Indian, Siamese etc. but all of us, we were one. Unite in the name of nation, Malaysia.

P/s= Alya, Alya pening kepala maktam dengan pertanyaan dan statement awak.

We Can't Get Away 2

Assalamualaikum,

Happy last 10 days of Ramadhan !

Yesterday, I was mending my broken heart because my Paklong died because of kidney cancer. I am not that surprised when I heard about it. Because when we knew that he had a cancer, it was already end stage, it's already metastasis to adrenal glands and lungs. See, I told before, death is so close.

I have a cancer gene in my family, my aunt with luekimia and my paklong with kidney cancer. I think I need to be careful. But then, no one can really stop cancer because cancer is actually a normal cell that cannot stop itself from producing new cells. It can be from our gene or lifestyle. But in the end, no one really know why and when we can get cancer.

The next day, my father asked me to accompany him to buy durians. I mean not just durians but a lot of duriansss. He bought durians around 15-20. Yes, I am not lying. Please believe me. To get that much durians, we went to our old Felda. The place where and when my early life began. My parents young and glorious time. Then, I started to think, maybe (I said maybe ok) this is a good place to raise my kids. There's not much traffic, fruits just along the road, the school is so old, the public library is so small, waterfall is just a walking distance, durians are so cheap Rm2 for one durian (boleh tawar lagi), and what most important, it was my little kampung. I can be a doctor in this isolated place. Why not right ? Heee. But then, that was my parents's pathway. Should I created mine or should I follow theirs ? I don't really know.

Oklah. I think I said too much today. Goodbye !









P/s= See you again Paklong. Sampaikan salam sayang buat Maksu dan Akmal. Tell them we will be following. See you again.

Ramadhan 1436 (2015)

Assalamualaikum.

Welcoming Ramadhan Kareem with all my heart. Happy Ramadhan to everyone !

I was thinking of some lecture from Yasmin Mogahed (she is one of my favourite speakers), she said that live in this life as we are the traveller. True enough. For example, when we check in the hotel we booked earlier, for example for three days, then, the hotel doesn't up to our expectation. Most of us, would just let it go (I did that), because you know that you just staying there for a while. Those small defects or imperfection doesn't matter.

That's what dunya should be. Things like money, fame, beauty and everything doesn't matter. What matter is your relationship with Allah. Prioritize things in your life (I am starting to do it). Because at the end of day/world, it's just you and Allah. That lecture is like a pang to my face. I would definitely love a slap especially when I started to forget. *pegang pipi sendiri*

Ok. Goodbye.

















P/s= I so thankful to be able to see Ramadhan this year. Alhamdulillah. Maksu and Akmal must never thought that last year was their last Ramadhan, just like us, who maybe never thought that, this Ramadhan could be our last. Death is so close.