Graduation Day 2013.

Assalamualaikum..

Today is my graduation day or wisuda. But my study is not finish yet. My parents was not here, they couldn't come because of something something. But it's ok, internet is everywhere.

Six years ago, when I was wearing the rob for my graduation day in MRSM, I told myself that this was not real, nothing to be excited about. Then, six years later, I was wearing my rob for my graduation day today, I still felt surreal. Something is wrong with me. But then, it's good to wear beautiful cloth, meeting with friends after a month of coas and met their families.

Hee. Now, officially saya dah grad teori. Now, focusing on my clinical. This time I want cum laudee. InshaAllah. Hehehehe.

Kami dah graduate. Tapi clinical belum. ^^ Doakan.

P/S= I miss my family. *Sobbing*

Hi May !

Assalamualaikum..

I am back.. Welcome May ! My clinical year doing fine, which I prefer to say my practical year. For these few weeks, I had met so many diseases and patients, the ones that I thought only in the books. I have so may things to curious about and sooo many things to read about. Each patient I had met, I had read their history, without fail always awaken my curiosity. Each time I found the answers either through asking the doctors or through reading the books, I find medicine is so interesting.

Medicine is interesting, hospital is a school and my books are the patients. But still my phobia for needles and blood won't go away. My gosh ! I need a help. This week I had seen two pleural puncture procedures for pleural effusion and I can't help my eyes to get widen. So interesting.  

These few weeks also thought me how life is so fragile, and death is so near. How man is a fragile being. I can't help myself to pray that everyone I see in the streets would never see me in emergency room. I pray that the possible bad things will not happen to me or my friends and families.

So May, be good. So RSUD Koja, teach me like a curious toddler. Be patience with me ok because I love to learn so many things from you. Heee.

Who said medicine is hard ? Medicine is interesting ok. But tired. Hehehe.

My families will not come for my graduation's day. Huuu.. Poor me.. *sobbing*






P/s= I've met people with many characters, their pains, their cry, their hardest time losing someone, their acceptance toward family member death, their prayer and their joy. Those are new to me. Those are never written in the books. For those, I am grateful to be where I am now. Appreciation for health and family are so priceless and how Allah is so close now. Thank you for that. *Smiling*

This March

Assalamualaikum..

Hi ! Welcoming the mid March 2013 with a smile. Heee. And welcoming a new phase of study with a smile too. Just in a few days or weeks, my clinically year will be started. At first, I am excited of course, because this is the real one. These few years back was an illustration for me to understand, the theories. But now, the real case scenarios are waiting. Truthfully, the years back feel so surreal to me. The theories which I forgot most of them made me feel, am I ready for this? I don't know.

And, I am scared too. I told my mother that I am scared. It's going to be a new responsibility, the one that I afraid I am not good enough. Then, she said, nothing to be afraid, faced it because that's what you going to go through forever. Sigh. I am still afraid.

Now, in the middle of preparation for the clinical, she's gone with my father and sister to Umrah, then, how I going to tell her or asks her for advices or anything. Sigh. Mother, I am really going to miss you for this two weeks. Huhuhu.

Don't worry, I am not that all negative. Hehehehe. It's ok. It's always going to be ok. I will survive. Maybe I need to study more, more than before. And I will not afraid, I have Allah right. Hahaha.

 May Allah give His guidance in our new journey.

P/S= Dreams are powerful. Dreaming to fly like a bird made Wright's brother invented the plane. I believe in dreams but I believe in du'aa more. Dreams are what inside you, the ideas but du'aa is what between you and Allah. Dreams will come true if Allah allows it. So, keep on dreaming but don't forget to ask it from Allah. Hee.

I Love Malaysia but I am Living in Indonesia.

Assalamualaikum.

When my mother asked me what about Indonesia that I love so much after we had a few disagreement regarding something about it and I was so defensive, it's got me thinking. Do I love Indonesia?

After a few minutes, I told my mother, Yes ! I love Indonesia, then my mother just went with 'Ok !". But I didn't tell her the reasons.There are so many reasons why I developed my feeling toward Indonesia. Indonesia is like my second home now. Realized it or not, I have been there for four years and it's a lie if I said that Indonesia is nothing to me.

What is Indonesia to me? It's a teacher who taught how important my family are and how to be me. I was a different person four years ago. I didn't say that Indonesia changed me but I can say that Indonesia is the witness of my growing years. For that, I thanked Indonesia so much. Hehehe..

I didn't tell anyone before, one of the things that I love about that country is the language. I always told that there was not much difference between Bahasa Malaysia and Bahasa Indonesia, yes it's right. But the thing is Bahasa Indonesia is a beautiful language to me. It's ok if no one agree, well, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Hee. I love Bahasa Malaysia too, so don't get me wrong. But when you are living in it, you don't realized how treasured you are toward that thing. That what Indonesia taught me about Malaysia and the language.

When you are away for a long time, then come back to Malaysia and heard the conversation between the people in the Malay, you can't stop yourself to feel you are belong here. Belong in Malaysia. When I was a child I never understand the proverb "Hujan emas di negeri orang, hujan batu di negeri sendiri, lebih baik negeri sendiri", now, I knew it well.  

I don't say Indonesia it's all about the good things. There still corruptions, you need money everywhere, the poverty, the unequal distribution of people which make some province is so packed and so on. But hmm I don't know what to say. I am living in it, I get used to it and like it or not accepted it as a part of it there.

I am going back to Jakarta in a few days. *Crying again*. I love Malaysia and I love home. There are so much foods here. *Munching nuts*




P/S= The teacher can always forget about its students but the students never or rarely forget their teacher. I love Istanbul too !  *My vacation dream*

Questions and Answers.

Assalamualaikum..

Home is the best. You have foods everywhere and I am fat. I can't stop eating too, my mother told me to stop eating. Yes ! She told me to stop eating, that is how bad my eating disorder now. Hehehehe.

Since before, I always have a lot of questions, like why the ants love sugar? Why the ants drowning in the cup of sugary drink? Why I was born? Who am I? Why I have a pair of eyes? Why not I have three eyes? Why the teacher said stop thinking where the Allah came from? Why, How, What and so on. When I was a little kid, some question was answered by my mother but the rest left with no answer. 

Now, I still have a lot of questions. Most of the questions I tried to figure it out, the answers always come from the scientific way. Like What made the earth? Earth crust, mantle and core. What made earth crust? What made mantle? What made core? The questions grew and become endless. In the end, the answers always came one familiar direction, that is Allah. Then, what Yasmeen Mogahed always tries to tell that come back to Allah is indeed the undeniable truth. That no matter how far and scientific the questions are, they always tell us that everything came from Allah. So, start thinking and come back. Oh. Don't ask me question because whatever the question is, truthfully, I don't know ok. Hee. Start looking for yourself.

I love been a little kid. Asked a lot of questions, having the answers that I agreed and disagreed was much easier that looking for the answer and thinking by myself. Sometimes, I stopped thinking because I am too lazy to find the answer. Yes, I am a lazy girl. Sigh.

Is it just me with a lot of questions or there are someone else too? It is not wrong to have the questions right? Am I questioning now? Again, questions.  =P







P/s=  Ahhh.. Sometimes I must answered too. Recently, the questions always going to be "Teha, bila nak kahwin?"  Aigooo...