Raya Datang Lagi.

Assalamualaikum

They say destiny is a funny thing. The one you expect to be somebody today could end up to be someone else tomorrow. And for every choice that lead them toward that destiny, the only thing that I can do is happy and praying for them. Hehehehe. Well. Future is never ours.

Aaahhh.. Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri ! It is not that late right? Hee. Well. This Aidilfitri I did things that I should have before. Visit families and friends. The old friends and the long lost family members with a smiling heart.

Our little girl who growing fast now, Qaseh.


We all end up to be here one day. Soil will be home for good or bad. It's time to reap what they sow. Hi Tok Ayah.You were gone when mama was a young girl in your sujud. Do you know me?

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri !

Semester 7 start now. The last semester before the clinical year. Please be focus Fatihah Anisah.




P/S= What can I ask more when You gave me the best. Families, friends and even the air that I breath. Thank you my Lord.

A Child That Cried.

Assalamualaikum.

Hee. I am back to Jakarta. It's mean I failed my exam. But Alhamdulillah, out of 12 stations I just failed one. Alhamdulillah. Hehehe.

You know, I did complaint a lot. Why this Allah? Why that Allah? I prayed hard and I studied hard like I never did before, just for me to pass all the stations. Why just one station, when You can passed me all? Why in this last ten of Ramadhan? Why? Maybe it sounded like a blame.

Indeed it was.

Then, Alhamdulillah, I thought about it back. When I have a bad feeling or intention, I always going to asked myself, it is right for me to have this? Is Allah happy with this? Those are the questions that always made me reflected myself.

I did not know, maybe this is the best for me. Like the best thing that a mother did when she took away a knife from her three years old child. The mother know that knife going to hurt the child. Then, the child was crying, get mad to her mother because she did that. The child not even realized that was because the mother wanted to protect her from the danger.

Then, I realized, there must be something that Allah know what best for me. Things that Allah wants me to learn from this failure. Things that Allah tried to protect me from anything that I did not know just like that child who did not know and understand her mother intention. I must learn to lean and believe in Allah. This is the lesson that I learnt from all this.

Who said a misfortune is a bad luck? Maybe it is the best plan that Allah gave for us to learn something from it. For those who doesn't see it as the best thing, is the one who missed the opportunity to learn from that plan actually. So, Fatihah Anisah believe it !! Heee. And believe that Allah know best, things that we don't know.

P/s= Happy Birthday Fatihah Anisah ! And Selamat 10 Ramadhan Terakhir ! Mama... Nak balik rumah... *Crying*

Home.

Assalamualaikum..

Ramadhan is coming. It is a week away. Last year, I was so eager to go home. Hee. This year I must faced the exam first, wait for the result, take it again (if I failed the first) and then thinking about home. Sigh. If you know how much my heart longing for home right now. *Crying*

Hee. Can't wait for Ramadhan and this time, it is in Jakarta for quite a whole month *Kasihan mak I mesti rindu*. Hukhuk. I want to go home..

Oh. I miss my three nieces (Ye, keluarga saya, keluarga perempuan). They must grown so much right now, asking a lot of questions, quarrel with everyone especially my mother and be as sweet as they are.

Hi ! I am Qaseh. ^^

P/S= Ramadhan, for everything within you, I can't wait for you to come. Even this time, it is quite different but it is ok. It's always going to be ok. Right? *Smile*

Time.

Assalamualaikum..

I have exam tomorrow and next week. Huuu. But then, like always I am wasting my time. Hee. Well. I still alive and I am fine.

This few days, I was thinking, for my entire life, I always know that no matter how hard I tried or how much money that I have, I will never buy the time. The time left, there is not even one second could be undo. This 3.55 pm on 12/07/2012 will never be same with the 3.55 pm on any dates.

But then, even with that realization I, Fatihah Anisah still wasting my time. Hmm. Big problem.

"By times,
Indeed mankind is in lost,
Except for those who believe and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience"
103:1-3

P/S= This few days, I was thinking, am I one of, the one that Allah oath by time, the person who in lost? I don't know. But one thing that I know, I miss home so much...

A Question I Never Forget.

Assalamualaikum..

You know, there was a moment in your life when that happen, you know that you need to grow up. When you realized, this is a serious business.

My moment when someone asked me a question two years ago, "Maktam, kenapa kita kena solat?". I was really not know how to answer this question to 4 years old girl. Not know or simply don't know. I am confused. I was so young at that moment, then I said "Sebab kita orang Islam wajib solat", she asked me back "Wajib itu apa?". Speechless again.

To simply answered that question I learned a lot. Looking back to my niat, is it my solat simply because everyone did it or because of Allah. Then, I was wondering,thinking the answer to that question. Fixing myself in life.

(Oh, this is Aimi. Hee)

Because I hope when my niece asks me again that question, this time I am well-prepared.

And I am so glad, she asked me that question. Because like I said before, everything within her world she always want an answer, and the question she asked, make me learned life just like she did.



P/S= "Maktam, solehah itu apa?". *Senyum*

Love?

Assalamualaikum..

Not long ago, I asked my niece (Alya), do she know who Rasulullah is? She said 'I don't know him'. Then, someone else said to her, Rasulullah is our prophet, a man that so kind that you should love, he was even kinder from Ibu and ayah. Then, Alya said, 'Alya don't know him, I've never met him, how Alya gonna love him?'. I am speechless and my sister speechless. Sigh.

Hee. I would love to share about a quote that I just read, Mark Twain said "Love isn't a believe without evidence but a believe without condition". When you love something/someone, you must accept all the weakness or anything about them (without condition) and show them how much you love them (with the evidence), isn't it?

When we love something/someone, there's not, one moment where we could forget about them, always do anything that they asked for eventhough sometimes it could be hard.

Love is a believe without condition, that was a definition given by Mark Twain right, but wasn't a believe without condition also define the word of Imann?

We beriman to Allah. We believe in Allah even when we can't even imagined how Allah is, we don't know what Allah could be. But we believe eventhough we don't know much about Allah, isn't it also love (a believe without condition)?

And how can we create love in our heart? I believe by knowledge. Knowing who,what,how about the one we donot love at first, will create love in the end.

How about our love to Allah and our prophet now? No. I should not asked that, I should ask, how about my love to Allah and our prophet now? *Reflect*





P/S= Wo ai ni Allah...

Holiday Is About To End.

Assalamualaikum..

Holiday is about to end. *Crying*. Like usual, I don't want holiday to end.

Now, I am 22 (not officially yet) but ever since I was a kid, things that my siblings and I cannot resist about my mother is her ability to tell a story. Well, maybe not an ability, an efforts. I grew up listening to her story. Not the one in the books, but the one that she made it up herself. When she told a story everyone listened even my father. And of course I pretended like I did not *I am a big girl ok*. I thought it just me who pretend, but later on I realized that even my lil sister did that. Hahaha. My time passed, my sibling's time passed. Now, the story time is for her grandchilds. But, I still listened and participated just like before but this time, silently.

Sigh. I don't want to go back to Jakarta.


P/S= For those who getting married. Hikhikhik. We often saw in the movies or dramas that a happy ending always ended with marriage. Well, in real life it's not. In real life, marriage is only a beginning and the ending, we never know. But we can hope and pray for a happy ending which is Jannah, InshaAllah. So, congratulations ! Hikhikhik..



Why oh why everyone is talking about marriage? Even my neighbors who came by. *Tepuk dahi*.

She Wants To Learn.

Assalamualaikum

Hi ! So many things to share but so not know how to write. Practically, I am on my semester 5 break. Hee.

I would love to shared about Alya, when she started to learn to perform solat. She's six and my sister said, she already learned the bacaan at school and when she homed, they will performed solat berjemaah together (Alya's parents, Alya and Aimi). Then, one day, when she came to my house, my sister brought together her telekung in case anyone in the house would love to solat with her. Of course, no one would answered no for that.

And she chose me. *She is so fond of me, hikhikhik*. And that day, we performed solat maghrib together and after that I checked her bacaan and the moment when to recite it until the Isya'. Again, solat Isya' we are berjemaah. Then, in the middle of our solat, she's started to cry. I mean she did cry hard. I was so wondering why she's crying. And after that, I asked her why did she cried? Her answered was 'Alya tak reti solat'. I hugged her and told her to doa to Allah so that one day, she will know how to solat.

Truthfully, I was so shocked when she cried and she told me that because she don't know to perform solat. First time in mind was "Ya Allah, murni dan innocentnya hati seorang budak ini". And I am so glad when other people chose not to solat, she (Alya) chose to cry because she don't know how to solat.

And I, so much in love to see, how she is so eager when I asked her to learn to perform solat, just like how I am so eager to teach her. I am not good, but I am trying to be good and I hope to the one that I love, at least, I can be good enough.

So, Alya, chaiyok-chaiyok ! Maktam always at your back ok. Hehehehe.



P/s= Well. Alya, from the bottom of my heart, I want to be your maktam not only in this dunia but also hereafter. So, my dear, don't ever give up.

It's January 2012.

Assalamualaikum....

Happy New Year !

I believe no matter how strong the person is, there was a time when that person will lose hope. I did, in fact I always did. When I thought that I lose hope, there always something inside my heart budding and keep growing. I suppressed it, I ignored it but it just never go and when I let it be, it is growing as wide as a sky.. And it's hope. I don't know where it come from but I believe it's a gift from Allah..

You know, there is a blind girl who asked her mother what is the color of the sky and her mother told her, it's blue. Then the girl asked again, why is it blue? Her mother answered because blue is the color of hope. What is hope? She asked again and her mother said 'Hope is a feeling that you can't see but you can feel, something you can feel about what you want to be and to do'.

And I was thinking, she's right. I want to be a doctor, it's a hope. I want my parents to be happy, it's a hope. Why sometimes we loss it? I think maybe because we give up. Give up upon hope, give up to try again and most importantly give up to depend on Allah. May I not be that one kind.

When I was a child, I asked my mother why we must solat. My mother said because we must thanks Allah for everything He give, by worship to Him. What if I don't want to? Then my mother said you can't take whatever gifts that He give to you. And I asked again, How?, my mother said don't breath the air, I tried, 1 sec, 4 sec, 10 sec then 20 sec, the moment of 30 sec I inhaled hard, I must breath. I said again, next. My mother said don't live on the earth and other planets or anything similar. Where am I going? I asked. My mother said a place you created on your own, your soil, your tree, your air and everything. There's no place such that. At first I am scared but then, I knew that I depend on Allah on everything.

I believe the one who depend on Allah, they never lose hope. So, let's hope ! ^^




P/S= I hope I will not be lazy this block. Heheheheh

Holiday. Yeay !

Assalamualaikum

Well. This is the last block for my 5th Semester, Neurology and Science Behavior. This time, we called our module a 'Yellow Pages' because it's so yellow and so thick. We going to have a Christmas break for almost 2 weeks in just a few days. Yeay ! Holiday ! Hehehehe.

So, this coming holiday, I am going to Bali ! Excited? Of course... Hee. This is my first time to go to Bali. Yeay ! There's friends who will leave for Malaysia but my friends and I will leave for Bali, Gunung Bromo and Surabaya. Travel around the Indonesia. ^^

But, I think I am missing home. Should I go home instead?

I miss my two loyal fans (Alya and Aimi)

I miss the paddy field.

I miss the murtabaks.

And I miss home the most..

And I don't why, I miss the Ramadhan too.

The Things I Left Behind.

Assalamualaikum..

It's been so long. Is not that I am busy, but as usual because of I am lazy to update this blog. There's so many things happened lately. But I won't tell you. It's my secrets. Yeay. I am a cheapskate.

So far, I hope I could do so many things, and I hope I didn't do a lot of things. I hope I could finish everything I left halfway because I am too afraid to face the obstacles when I was young.

I am trying now. I am trying to catch up everything I left behind. Yes. I am a bit late. But better late than never right. Yosh Fatihah Anisah !




P/S= You know, I am not afraid to go through this pathway eventhough it going to be hard because I know everything I do because of Lillahitaala..

I Miss Home.

Assalamualaikum..

Rumah Terbuka

Makan-makan

P/S= You'll reap what you sow...

My Beautiful Prison

Assalamualaikum

Semester 5 is an epic story of my laziness. Yes. An epic of laziness. I've never been this lazy. I don't know what was wrong with me. This second block (20th), prove it that I am lazy even without my laptop.

Maybe they were right when they said that lazy is a prison, a luxury one. A very bad prison. It's keep me lock up until I am not even realized that I am actually locking. Not until I get my result. I need to be a fighter against my laziness, against my comfortably zone, against my beautiful prison and most important thing against myself.

So, Fatihah Anisah go go go !

P/S= No matter how many sea and beaches I go, I still think that ocean is a remarkable Allah's creation. How they are so unpredictable, magnificent and mysterious. You can be the one that explore through them and within a second you are just a weak human being. And most important thing, whenever I see the ocean, it is something that you can never be recreated and that feeling is undescribable.

A Week Of School.

Assalamualaikum

It's been so long since I updated my last entry. Hohohoho. Well. I've started my third year in medical school with ponteng on the first day, raya's mood.

My new wish for the new semester before coming back to Jakarta, I left it in the bag to be unpack. I've unpack my bag but not my spirit. Lazy lazy lazy lazy. I don't know what to do with that feeling and that word. If only we have a medicine for that.

Let's not talk about lazy. It's boring. Well. I am on my 5th semester. I am still don't believe that all this years, I've been through about 4 semester already. 4 semester equal to 2 years. Well. Not that long. But for your information, I am really clueless about what I've been study. Sigh.

Oklah. I am lazy to study, I am lazy to do my assignment, I am lazy to open my eyes. Yes.. I am a lazy girl. =P

So. Block 19 (Cardiovascular system), please be an easy block ok. Because I am lazy. *Mak, tolong ! Anakmu malas*... Hee.

P/S= Why history is so interesting eventhough it can be a little bit boring? Because it's a story, just like a movie but this time it's a true story.

Good Luck !

Assalamualaikum

I said before that my sister chose to be a teacher for applying for university and I am not sure whether she get the course or not. But one thing for sure, she got the Forensic Course in USM ! Which is my master target.. And of course since I love Forensic, I told her to go for it. Since she is so clueless with her future, I think she'll listen to me. Hahahaha. Innocent lil sister.

At first, when my mother said that she got the course, I was yelling hard. No way ! But then, after not so long thinking, it's good to have my lil sister to study Forensic, in case I change my mind in future *I change my mind a lot*, at least I know that she's be the one who continued my dream. =P

Anyway, good luck Farah *If you choose to accept the offer*. I hope you will become a good Forensician, and of course as long as you wear that tittle in your name, I'll be the one who always jealous with you. Good luck !

P/S= 6 days to go before I say 'Hi motherland' ! ^^

Home Again.

Assalamualaikum

I guess, no matter how far you go or how grown up you become, there always a place that you can turn your head back without a second thought. Home.. Ain't I right? Hee.

Well.. When I have a house one day, I'll make it a home. The kind of house that you can see and feel the sunlight in day and the house that lighted with the moonlight in night.

A very large garden full with greenish plant and a lot of herbs, so that you can smell the raw herbs in the morning. And when it's rain, you are can feel the droplets on your face and feet but yet you are safe and dry.

The kind of house that full with laughter and Iman and Taqwa. That, what I called home. One day.. InsyaAllah..

P/S= I am going home again. Hee.

The Month That I Love The Most.

Assalamualaikum

You know what, time really pass by. The next month month there will be Ramadhan ! How fast. Sincerely, I love Ramadhan the most. The air, the environment, the time I spend, the tiredness, the terawih, the night and the people are all different. And that differences, I love it the most.

When it's come to Syawal, the air and the surrounding are totally different. Ramadhan, there always peacefulness month and the beautiful night-moon to me. Syawal, always the smell of nasi tomato, sounds of kids running and shouting, the smell of burning oil lamps, the sound of firecrackers, the time when mother and father are dating at veranda alone and the time to get to work.

Syaaban is the month of waiting. But don't worry, I love all the months. Because each months are different.

And I forget to tell, Ramadhan is also the month where I'll go home in Malaysia. That why I love Ramadhan the most !

Happy Syaaban and Happy becoming Ramadhan.

Bandung With Family.

Assalamualaikum

My mother is here and still here until tomorrow. We had been to Bandung most of the time. Of course, that the only place that good for your health, mentally and physically compared to Jakarta.

Shoppingss, bookss, and foodss. That are exactly what I need. Oh.. We went to Heritage Village in Bandung. I never go there before. The village is full with cultures and Angklung. It's nice to look at something that other people love it so much and made you love it just because of them. Don't get me wrong. I always in love with the cultures. But not the Indonesian's because we, Malay and Indonesian, are all serumpun and that made us nothing so much different rather than just your language.

Years ago Malaysia and Indonesia are been fighting over the cultures things like Batik is originally from Indonesia and so do Angklung. Well.. I don't mind. They can take it if they want. What more important is, not where the things and the cultures we have come from, but how we keep it alive and enjoy it and of course preserved it for the next generation.

Hee. The next time I go to Bandung, I don't want to shop. I want to jalan-jalan and makan-makan and enjoy the cultures and the beauty, coolness of Bandung. Hee. Why not? We don't get it in Jakarta right. Hee.

P/S= When I found or seen a perfect guy, they always turn out to be gay. Sigh.

Your Choices Your Knee.

Assalamualaikum

Truthfully, I love heels and wedges. For real. I love them. Because they are so beautiful to wear and to look.

But why I wear them so seldom? I don't know if others have the same problem with me, but heels and wedges always give me pain on the knee after I wore them for a very long time. See. Problem right? I am so amazed to look at the women who can bear to wear heels for a day long. Seriously, I am so amazed.

Heels are not good for your knee and they are dangerous too. I read an article about the effect of the heels on the knee years ago, they said foots are designed for balance and strength, but what heels do to you is that they change it. You barely have the balance *which is true* and not strong enough to run *which is true too*. For the long-term effect, heels can give the impairment of the backbones and osteoarthritis and so much more.

Hee. But I will still wear them, seldomly of course. Lari pun macam itik kalau pakai heels. Kalau kena kejar angsa macam mana? Sigh.

Oh. About the effect of the heels, you may feel it after you're getting old. Just like my mother, who used to wear heels a lot in her young age. There was a day when we went to shoes's shop, she told me to take the wedges instead of flat, but I said if I took it, it'll be in the closet only. Then, she said, if she is in my age, she will wear that. Then I asked her, why not now? She said "Because I can't, my knee won't allowed me, it's hurt when I did and it's not balance too". See.

Oh. It's not that I am telling, we, women can't wear heels but if you can, lessen it. The fact is, every women will have a heel at least.

People said beauty is a pain. I disagree. Beauty is a comfort. Trust me, I know it well.

Heels?

Or Flats?

Healthy knee or osteoarthritis? Well it's your choice, ladies.

Happy Exam ! Again..

Assalamualaikum

Block 16 did tough and lazy too. I m fighting for my Block 17-Hepatobilier, (Please take care of your liver Fatihah) now. Not too busy but lazy. Mother said the medicine for M, Malas is also M, that is Mati. Can my mother not be so harsh? hehehehe.

Well. She's coming to Jakarta next week. But I am so busy with my Integrasi 1, I hope the exam's date not going to change one more times, I had enough with those changes schedule. I can't plan for anything because of it.

These days, I watched some drama, there was a part where a father married away his daughter to a guy. And that father was sad. So cute. It reminds me to the day when my oldest sister got married, my father cried when he hand over my sister's hand to her husband that evening. It was my first time I saw my father cried. I was so confused that day and I can't stop looking at him, when he realized that I did that, he wipe away his tear.

I think I could understand it now. He just gave away his used little girl. See. I grown up now.

P/S= Who said a father is Jiwa kental keras rock. I see none in my father.